#90 - How ChatGPT Will Affect Our Relationships (and other AI models)

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Talk to People Podcast.

I am your host, Chris Miller, and this is episode number 90.

If you've listened to the prior 89 episodes, great job.

Here's a virtual patch on the back.

If this is your first time listening, well, I'm so glad to have you.

Today, we are talking about something that has been on my brain, it's been pressing on my cerebellum, or my cerebral cortex, or my frontal lobe, or somewhere in my brain area, it's been applying pressure.

It's been something that's popped up consistently, and I figured I'd talk to you about it because I think it's impacting all of us, and we need to talk about it.

And I especially think it's important for us to talk about because it connects to how we're relating to the people around us, and how we're talking, how we're expressing and sharing our thought.

And that is AI.

AI is giving me a run for my money.

And the reason why I say that is because it is killing my creativity.

Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, like a frog in a boiling pot of water who has no idea what's been going on until he is perfectly cooked, like a well-done steak.

I have noticed that the ability to use AI has messed with me.

I'm talking ChatGPT, Perplexity, Google Gemini, Claude, you name it.

There are so many AI models out there.

I recently set through a presentation of a business owner that I know, and they're talking about creating their own AI.

I was exploring these different AI LLMs that you could go in and create yourself.

It's mind-blowing what we're getting into.

It is the progression of technology, but it is something that I've recently been befuddled by, because for the first time in my life, I am able to outsource my thinking.

This is something that I have never been able to do before, and it's been gripping to me.

And I'm trying to come to terms with it now because I'm starting to recognize some of the impacts.

Now, whenever I say outsource my thinking, I want to talk a little bit about that phrase.

We've always, I've always been able to outsource washing my dishes when I got married.

Just kidding, no.

I'm thinking about whenever the dishwasher was created, it washed our dishes.

For our laundry, we've been able to wash our clothes, outsource that to the machine, right?

To transport, we've been able to outsource that to the car.

Instead of walking 10 miles, we can drive 10 miles in 10 minutes and get there incredibly quickly.

Rather than having to plan this really big trip, we can buy a Southwest Airlines flight, or buy a ticket to the Southwest Airlines flight, board the plane, sit in the middle.

Every seat is a first class seat on Southwest Airlines, wait, land, and then you're there, right?

As technology progresses, we are able to outsource more and more of our life.

And this has always been good because it has outsourced the things that most of the time we dread.

Many of us do not like having to wash our own clothes.

If we had to every single day or once a week, whenever we wanted to do it, grab all of the clothes we've worn and get a bucket and get another bucket and have soap in one bucket and have dirty water in another bucket and then have something to wring it out and hang it all up and we'd have to separate things, it would be a lot of work.

It'd be tiresome.

We would not want to do it.

So shout out to the person who created the laundry machine to be able to wash it.

Shout out to the person who dried the dryer, right?

Shout out to the person who created the microwave, who created the refrigerator.

It has allowed us to outsource the things we don't really want to do.

But ChatGPT AI, these really easy to access machines, have allowed us to outsource our thinking.

And for me, when I use it, the way I've been using it, and I think this is gonna be something that we come to, is we just need to modulate how we use AI.

Because the way I was using it, it removed the whole purpose of me doing the podcast.

Because I would tell it, hey, I'm working on a podcast about social connection.

I really believe life is better when you talk to people.

I see the harms of the loneliness epidemic and the friendship recession.

And so many people graduating college and moving away for the first job and having money but being so poor and everything else.

I want to change that.

I want to create educational episodes, conversations, help me come up with punchy but still truthful thumbnails and titles and podcast descriptions and podcast outlines.

And it was doing all of this for me.

And I would find myself whenever I was prepping for a podcast to put all this into ChatGPT and to hit record and just try and riff with the outline, which to some degree was helpful.

But what it did was it made me a lot more perfectionistic because I thought to myself, wow, we all have access to this now.

What am I uniquely bringing to the table?

If you or the person who is creating a podcast tomorrow or anybody could listen to this and put in a prompt and get something even better than me if they're better at creating prompts, because the ability to create a good prompt is going to be what gives us great output.

So if they're better at creating prompts than me, then they're going to be better than me since I'm relying on this thing to come up with my podcasts.

And it either pushed me into one camp of having no thought, like literally coming here and being like, oh, I feel like I need to put up a podcast, and having a podcast outline and kind of riffing, or too much thought, because I think to myself, no, I need to be an expert.

I need to contribute something unique.

And I just sneezed.

AI does not do that yet.

Either I'd have no thought, or I'd be like, oh, I need to be an expert, and I need to come up with something unique and something research-backed, and what makes me someone who people will listen to, and what gives me that position.

And before I knew it, I would be on like take number four.

I wouldn't be happy with the episode, and it would never see the light of day.

So it's very unique because it increased my perfectionism.

It wasn't necessarily just doing the dishes for me anymore.

Rather, it was doing the stuff that I wanted to do.

I wanted to do the thinking of coming up with the episode of writing down my notes.

And I realized I can use it as a companion.

I can use it not as a substitute, but as a supplement.

But I think this is a consequence or a symptom of technology.

There's this concept called latency, and it's how much time it takes to get to the other side, how much time it takes for something to connect.

And as we have more forms of communication, more platforms of communication, there's varying latencies.

For instance, if you are sitting right in front of me in person and I say, hey, can I ask you a quick question?

And then you sit there for 90 seconds, and then you look at me and you say, yeah, what's up?

I'm going to be like, what in the world?

More than likely, I'm not going to last 90 seconds, right?

I'll probably try and ask you again, ask you again.

If it really takes you 90 seconds, I'm going to be like, well, what's going on?

That's so weird.

Why did it take you so long?

But if I were to text you and say, hey, can I ask you a question?

And you texted me back in 90 seconds, a minute and a half, I'd be like, dang, they're a pretty quick texter, right?

So it's two different forms of communicating, but with different latencies, it feels different.

A phone call.

If I'm talking to you on the phone and I ask you a question, you're able to pause a little longer than if we were in person because I can't see you, right?

Email, right?

It's all of these different forms, even writing a letter.

And what happens is with increased latency, the more time we have before we respond, it gives us even more chance to think about what to say, which results in more revisions, more second-guessing.

And it makes us just not as sure with ourselves.

It makes us feel like there's something better we could be saying because we have more time, right?

Like the perfectionism.

It starts to increase this tendency of perfectionism, and slowly we begin to disassociate from who we are truly, like what we would say if there was no latency, if you were right there, and I had to respond immediately versus now I get to think about it more.

And you know, this is enhanced with social media, right?

Because we can go hop on and pop things there, pop things there, go tell people whatever, have everything planned out.

We can use ChatGPT and say, hey, could you help me come up with a response to this email?

So now not only is the latency increased, like we can take our time on it.

Now we can also get someone to ghost write it for us.

And the reason why I find this so fascinating, and I also think it's a little nerve wracking, is as humans, we are judged by the fruit we bear.

So imagine the apple tree.

If this apple tree had these big green apples on it, and he's like, I'm actually an orange tree.

You're like, I hear you, but not the case, because I can see the apples you're bearing.

And what we say, and the things that we talk about, and the things that we are, like how we're choosing to talk about things, that's the fruit.

And we are the tree.

So like what we're talking about, what we're thinking about, it's, there's a big connection there.

There's a direct connection there.

And this is removing our ability to choose what fruit we have, right?

What fruit that we bear, because it's doing it all for us.

I remember I had a professor in grad school who was quite interesting.

And he said, one day, we are all going to be floating spheres full of liquid, and we'll never talk to one another.

We'll just immediately think what each other thinks.

And it's this idea of transhumanism, which is whenever the individual and the machine and technology morph into one to the point to where it's indistinguishable, humanity and technology, one in the same.

And it's kind of wild when you think about that.

And I feel like with communication, this is happening, right?

Like we communicate with one another on digital platforms more than we do in person.

I imagine if you've listened to this podcast, all episodes, I've communicated with you more through this podcast than I have with you in person, unless you're a select few group of people, right?

And is that inherently bad?

I'm not too sure, but it is a example of how the digital means is taking more precedent than like in-person analog.

And I feel like AI is the next step of this, rather than technology giving us the ability to take an hour or do a lot of revisions.

It's also giving us completely, giving us all of our responses, right?

Like in Apple or Gmail or Grammarly, it'll tell you exactly what to say.

Like, oh, hey, I know you said this, but how about you say this?

Which in the moment feels really helpful.

But I do think if we were to say, yeah, sounds good.

Yeah, sounds good.

Yeah, sounds good.

But after a while, our ability to generate the original content is going to get lost because we're no longer stressing that muscle.

We are just conceding and being like, yeah, yeah, sounds good.

And I know there has to be a way for us to navigate this because the thought is if you don't adapt to it, you get left behind.

And this is the, this is the, what a lot of people talk about with like transhumanism, is like, if we do get to the point to where everybody's putting the computer chip in their brain that gives them access to all the information on the internet immediately, they're going to be much faster thinking than other people who don't have it.

So the people who don't have it are going to want to get it, or else they feel like they're going to be left behind, they're not going to get the good jobs with the high-paying money, they're not going to get the smart investing positions because other people with the computer chips are.

So it forces you to kind of keep going and going.

And then you get the health insurance companies who say, Oh, you know what?

Whenever we insure people who have metal vibranium arms, they are a lot stronger and they don't get hurt as much.

So therefore, we're going to charge the people who don't have the metal vibranium arms more, because they're not willing to invest in themselves and become more of a robot.

And they're more of a liability for us, because we may have to pay for them to get a broken arm splint or a cast, which is like so old school.

That's so 2000s, right?

And then people like, Oh, man, feel financial pressure to have to go over to be more machine like, because the insurance companies are changing.

And then it just keeps going and going, right?

Like the, if you read the books, the sci-fis, you can see it.

And I know that seems pretty grandiose and out there right now, which it is.

But the concept of you don't want to get left behind, so you want to use AI is there.

Like I'm using AI in my job, and it's helping me out with the admin stuff, which I'm cool about.

But I've also noticed I'm using it to help me out with the one-on-one stuff, and it's giving me pause.

It's making me go, hmm, I don't know if this is helpful, because I think that at some point, we're going to need to take a step back from these things and come up with a healthy position.

It's like using, it's like math, mathematics.

Like the calculator is an incredible invention.

And an accountant, to be able to use a calculator, to be able to come up with how much I need to pay on taxes, I want them to do that.

I want them to be exact on that.

But if I no longer was able to do mental math, and I wasn't able to count how many hydrangeas are in the backyard, and I had to go to a calculator every time, then that would be bad news, right?

Like, I need to be able to have the mental math to be able to calculate the change or the tax of all the things I have in my cart.

I love calculators, but I need to make sure I'm not using a calculator for every little thing, right?

I need to be able to stress that mental math muscle because I'm going to need mental math, okay?

And I think it's the same thing.

Like, we are going to need the ability to come up and generate unique content.

So I kind of want to encourage you.

It's okay to use AI, but just reflect on how you're using it.

Are you using it for the admin stuff, for washing the dishes?

Completely cool.

Washing laundry, like the stuff in your life that is admin stuff, or using it for front-facing stuff, the stuff where it picks the fruit on your tree, how you're known.

I think we need to think about this a lot because whenever we're interacting with people, what we say determines how people feel.

And we really need to think about how we want people to feel.

I really want people to feel encouraged.

Whenever you listen to this podcast, I want you to feel encouraged.

I want you to feel a bit more reflective and insightful about the agency you have to choose the words in your life, the agency you have to create relationships that could be beneficial for you, to create community that can be constructive to you in your life.

I want you to feel a bit educated, a bit smarter.

You could be playing NBA 2K for another hour.

I love that video game, but potentially listening to this, you may feel like you're being sharpened simply because iron sharpens iron, not because I'm the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm just another piece of iron and together we can sharpen one another.

How you, or what you say determines how people feel.

So I want you to generate what you're saying to the people around you.

I don't want you to have to lean on something.

It's hard.

Like, I'm having a hard time.

I'm working on a podcast with Annie right now, and I've told myself, no AI.

So we have a concept for our podcast, but I'm not going there for episode ideas.

I'm not going there for some type of roadmap.

I'm not going there for an episode structure.

I'm not going there for more examples.

This is something I'm creating for fun.

It's not me washing the dishes.

This is something I actually want to do.

So creativity is a muscle, and thinking outside the box is crucial, and it's going to take time.

It's okay if it's hard to come up with new ideas.

Like, that's the whole thing.

It's hard.

That's what makes it creative.

There's a box for a reason.

Boxes are comfy.

That's what we need.

We deliver packages and boxes, right?

It keeps things safe.

But going outside of the box is what's unusual.

And it's hard.

And being unique, being uniquely you, is going to be your superpower whenever it comes to talking to people.

That is literally the number one suggestion I have to everybody.

If you can just lean into your personality, if you can be your authentic self, there is no one who could be you, who could be you-er than you.

And that is truer than true, all right?

That's from the Lorax, Dr.

Seuss.

He was on to something.

So being yourself is a superpower whenever it comes to talking to people.

And you need to know who you are, you need to know what you're coming up with.

So AI is very helpful, but AI is AI.

AI can do the admin stuff, but I'm not going to use it to help me come up with my content because the whole purpose of this podcast is for me to communicate what's going on in here.

And there are going to be some episodes where they're really sharp and they resound with you.

And there's going to be other episodes that don't resound with you.

And I am so fine with you not listening to an episode that doesn't resound with you.

I encourage you not to do it.

Maybe listen a little bit to see if there's something more than your general assumption.

But after that, like if it's not going to resound with you, hit pause and go to something that will.

There's so much content out there.

You do not have to listen to my podcast.

That being said, I need to be myself.

That way I keep doing it.

That's the whole purpose of me podcasting, right?

I won't be as high quality as the ChatGPT.

I will be unpredictable.

I will be inconsistent.

I will be slower.

I'll be human, but I will be me.

And I will keep using AI for some admin stuff.

I will go to hard copies.

I want to print out some stuff.

That way whenever I'm working with clients, we can touch things, touch papers, be able to show them what things look like in person.

I think there's something there.

So, I just want to encourage you.

I think the progression of digital technology has been a net positive for people.

Like, we've been able to do such incredible things.

The company I worked at was healthcare.

It was electronic medical records.

So, people no longer had to worry about losing all of their stuff in a flood and dying because the doctor couldn't keep track of their prescription and they were overprescribed, but they were wrong prescribed.

Now we just have it all in the cloud.

And no matter what military base you're at, no matter what hospital you go to, they can look at it.

That's such positive development.

I'm so proud of that.

The human scientific progress we've made.

Yes, let's go.

That's great.

But whenever it comes to how we're connecting with those around us, it's very tricky and it is proven to be not as much of a silver bullet, one size fits all for people.

It's very hard.

Our brains are still primitive.

They're not going to develop as quickly as technology.

We are going to get rocked by TikTok and Instagram and YouTube and their algorithms because they elicit the dopamine and they target the serotonin exactly what we want.

So we're going to have to be a little old school and go out there and be uncomfortable and come up with stuff and be ourselves.

But I want to encourage you to keep being yourself and to remember there is no one who could be you or than you.

And that's truer than true.

Shout out to Dr.

Seuss.

I hope you enjoyed this episode.

If you ever have a question for me, feel free to email me at talktopeoplepodcast.gmail.com.

Remember, life is better when you talk to people.

And I'll see you next time, folks.